In Class: 1st Paragraph

Title: My place of Constant Transformation


1st Paragraph:

The layout of this place:

I want to start by describing this space using all five of the senses then including a picture at the end to give some visual representation. Sight will be a big factor in this paragraph, a description of color throughout. This part will also include the pictures and metal on the wall--ETHOS. Then the smell, one of my favorite things about this place. The feel of the heat in the room.


***Remember that I want to show a transition in each of my paragraphs between the way in is in the beginning (the earlier, kids class times), and the way it is at night (with the men's training). Along with this, in the narrative portion of the paper, I would like to tie in the transition of the day with the transition of a fighter (include this part of the people in the space and how a young fighter comes in hesitant and nervous compared to an experienced one who will be knowledgeable etc). Then to satisfy the personal part I want to include my own transition as a fighter which took place in this space. This is my tie to the spot an the overall reason I chose to describe this place of Transformation.

In class: previous experiences with in class peer conferences

Honestly, I must say that every time I have been a part of a peer conference the experience has been horrible. It always seemed that the people in my groups have been so much more interested in what others were writing about their paper, than actually writing a comment that was worth while on mine. I would always try to write a meaningful comment, but it is especially hard when you are worried about the other person's feelings. It would help if the teacher would not have the students sign their name on the essay, that way you could be so much more honest and therfore more helpful to the writer.

In class: idea about observation feedback

I think I need to give more a visual representation or description of the actual place before I start getting into the details of the spot.

I could also include the metals and awards posted on the walls, as well as the counter with gloves and protein for sale. This would also be a great idea of ethos, and pathos.

The reputation is another good idea that I could include. The clarification of this Ethos would help to identify the space.

The energy in the room is a good observation to go off of.

Again with the sounds- I could give a more general idea of the sound levels before i get into the details of what the are.

Advertisements about the upcoming fights or tournaments could be included. Like the ones on the wall for the next WGC or the UFC posters that are tacked up close to the fight time. These may tell a story or opportunity for a future event that this space would be associated with.

Any safety equipment- pathos (especially to parents) - the head gear that is collected on one of the shelves.

The awards and trophies could be a great way to make an appeal to Ethos, and a good way to discuss the descritions of the walls further.

In Class: Observations

As I sat in the gym that I had been thousands of times before, I realised that I have never really SEEN this space. I noticed so much more as an observer than someone who took part in the activities. The sounds of the place were the first obvious thing that hit me. I entered the building around six in the evening, about the time the kids classes were starting. The amount of activity was tremendous, I could hear the giggling and movement of WAY too many kids! It was so strange to be there at this time and not teach my normal children's class. As I observed the classes I realised how motivating and stimulating the walls were. All of them covered in posters about respect and courage, covering a color coordinated wall. I never noticed how the place smelled until after I left the building. The aroma of rubber from the mats and sweat from the people filled the truck ride home.

OBSERVATIONS

Observations:

1) The blue and white parking lot striping that matches the color of the building and the same color patterns carried throughout the inside.

2) The tiger painted on the wall over the counter. The tiger itself is not too mean looking but still tough.

3) The onslaught of young kids arriving at 6 O’clock

4) The change in scenery from the kids to the adults.

5) The way the instructors relax as their work day is done, and the fighters make their way to the larger of the two mats.

6) The sound of the fan blowing, drowning out the sounds of kicks and punches coming from the gym next door.

7) The interesting part that as it gets dark the crowds slow and the adults come in. (this says a lot about our society and the way that grown up have longer hour at work rather that children who require earlier times).

8) The way the mats smell of sweat and rubber.

9) The energy in the room shifts from the times of intense training (how you want to be with the other person doing the hard training or fighting)

10) As the night slows down and I am left alone I realize that the intense feeling of competitive brotherhood is gone. Left is a peaceful calm. I feel like when it is training time you find your weaknesses and holes and work to repair them. When I am alone in this space I feel like I know who I am (or feel like myself more than anywhere else. It is a place where you can reflect on yourself.

11) At this point you notice the mirrors surrounding the main gym. Maybe it’s because you think more but every noise seems to stand out.

12) the people bring their own atmosphere with them. Most of the people early in the day are parents bringing their children to Karate. The kids pile in to the small mats as the parents talk or read in the lobby. VERY chaotic!

13) When it gets later, most of the people who come are in shape, adults or older teens. No one is left in the lobby. Even the few people who observe are drawn to the happenings on the mat. I believe this is that energy taking hold of everyone in the space.

14) The sounds:

            *The punching bags

            *The chains swaying

            *The air being forced out after every blow of a punch

            * The slam and movement of the bodies on the mat

15) The smell

            *The sweat

            *The mats rubber

            *The cleaner

16) The Feel

            *The hot air in the room with the occasional blow of the circulating fan

            * The breeze from the open side door.

17) POINT: although observations are normally described by using your 5 senses, one can “feel” the energy with something other than those most obvious. The energy is sensed with a 6^th intuition.

18) the walls have mats on them – blue to match the color of gym theme.

19) the careful planning of the fighters- almost like a constant chess game

20) the way you are invited in to the gym from the moment you step in, with the painted image of a black belt and the word written underneath it stating: INTEGRITY.

In Class: Logos Artifact

For my Logos argument I brought my daily planner. This fulfills the logos argument by having a logical order of the days of the week. Also, because it is a planner it helps me keep track of assignments and random things that need to get done. I think that I would probably be lost without my planner and certainly wouldn't be able to keep up with all of my work on a daily basis. The idea that it is a logical argument simply comes from the fact that it is a logical tool used for clarification and organization, which I believe is an appeal to Logos.

Ethos, Logos, and Pathos arguments incorporated with my space

As the prompt stated, this is an open-ended question that will  help with the argument I want to make in my essay. Because I am a visual person I am going to put the definition of the three types of arguments on my blog, then use them as reference points as my writing progresses.

Ethos: the "self image" a writer creates to define a relationship with readers.
(here, in my writing, I would consider Ethos to mean: the image projected by the space itself.)

Pathos: The emotions that this place gives another person and that gives people their perception.

Logos: the evidence to make a logical appeal

Ethos:
This could be the prefect place to argue about the social views this space takes on (weather negative or positive). I could explain how a place where people come to reach a goal is a bonding, uplifting experience. I could also argue that if the goal IS to fight the other person the image perceived may be negative.

Pathos:
This could be the section where I mirror the fact that the gym is so much diffrent at night that at day, with the similarity that first timers have nerves, fear, adrenaline(not because they are about to get hurt, but because they donot fully understand what is done in a gym like this), whereas the long time fighters have an interest, learning, comfort, compassion. All of these things feed into the overall ENERGY of the gym the "fighter's spirit" as some call it. And can completely be felt when you compare the way the gym feels before and after a work out, or at different times of the day. MUST PROVE WHY!! good place to use what you know, but explain and keep asking further questions!

Logsos:
This section could be used to strengthen each of the "fact" that are made in the paper. An example could be this place is for grown men. Why? because there are large boxing gloves hanging from a cabinet. Use signs, and colors, and whatever you see hear fell etc. then back those items up with in depth explanation.

MY PLACE: essay #1

Choosing a place to analyze for my first essay was a difficult decision to say the least. I was quick to decide on an MMA gym, mostly because I could relate to the space and the people in it. But then I began to wonder if my close ties would interfere with actually analyzing the space itself and not the sentimental values it holds with me.

I started to think about a high end car sales lot. I thought that this would give me a strong area to discuss the differences of people that entered the lot, from the used section to the new, or the people who haggled the prices and the ones who were fine with the sticker prices etc. 

With all of my ideas for both places swirling around in my head I had to do some serious thinking. My final decision came only when I asked myself this one simple question: "What make this space appealing?" This seemed like a simple enough question, but when I thought hard about it the answer came only when I analyzed myself. I know the MMA gym, I know the feelings that everyone in this place have. I know the type of person it appeals to, and why. I can tell you a novel of the pre conceived ideas that individuals have about this place, and most importantly this is the spot that I know best. 

I believe it will be a challenge to set aside my bond with this space and only state factual information, but I know that it only mattes what I write on the page, and not what it necessarily in my heart. 

In Class: My Ethos Argument

My Ethos argument is my TCU college ID. I believe this particular item appeals to character in many ways, the most obvious of which being that it indicates that I am in college. The ID has the TCU logo on it and even a picture of my very own face! This may be pretty standard as far as identification cards go, but it shows who I am and where I belong. College, in our culture, is viewed as a prestigious place, where the elite go to hone their skills for employment that will, no doubt, provide wealth and happiness. Now, we all know that this is certainly not a guaranty for everyone enrolled at TCU. But what it does guarantee is that I am currently on a good path, have worked hard in the past, and have the opportunity for higher learning or a well paying job in the future...Plus I have a beard in the picture, which is definitely bonus points.

In Class: Pathos- how understanding emotion may help in my first essay

Having some sort of understanding for what others are feeling the first time they walk into an MMA gym would certainly help with writing my essay. I would know from experience that going into a place where fighting is occurring seems like you are entering a place of hostility. It seems like everyone in the room is an ex convict looking to choke or knock you out. BUT... Also from being in the sport for many years I know how the veteran fighters are feeling when they enter this space. They are feeling a sense of respect and they know that this place is a place of learning. No where in their minds are they wanting to harm another person, they know this is a sport, and a direct one at that. I can see that in my paper I would like to convey the contrasting ideas between the two types of people that enter an MMA gym (the new and the old).

In Class: Artifact Pathos

My artifact that I brought to class today is a gold metal. This summer I competed in the Texas State Grappling Championship and won first place in the division. There were more than a thousand people competing and over two thousand spectators. As I walked up for my first fight I felt my nerves in the pit of my stomach. The bell rang and suddenly I focused, I felt totally comfortable. The fight went well as I ended with a submission with two minutes left. My nerves the rest of the day, and into each of my 5 fights were just the same as before. Finally, after the final fight, my hand was raised and my name voiced loud over the intercom. My nerves were gone, no more adrenaline just a simple feeling of pride. I never thought I could feel as good as I did at that exact moment, that is until my brother (and one of my training partners) ran on the mat, picked me up, and carried me around the ring. At that moment I knew that this day was special. My artifact represents all the hard work, the dedication, and emotion that went into that day. I will always remember how good it felt every time I look at that metal.

The BP oil spill

After watching the BP oil spill advertisement I really wasn't all that impressed. I thought "I could have written that script, and all she did was throw out some random facts throughout the video." But as I began to watch the video I realized that a vast amount of argument and persuasion techniques were used!

Persuasion was the first style that caught my attention. Normally commercials are used as arguments, meaning that they have, at least, a reasonable point of view. But in this ad persuasion was used to change the viewers opinions. This was very apparent when the spokes woman stated: "we will keep looking for oil, clean it up if we find it, and restore the gulf coast." This quote instils a calm to the situation and could be very effective in changing some peoples opinions.

Sub-categorically, argument is added to the mix. There is a list of the actions that should be, and have been taken, including: "talking to restaurant and hotel owners...working with communities...and we have 19 centers in 4 states." These all are a was for BP to argue that they ARE doing something about the spill. This is certainly a way for them to sway the opinions of numerous people.

The next type of argument that stuck out was the Rogerian approach. This is normally used to find a common ground with others. Here in the videos the woman says "BP has taken full responsibility for the clean up in the gulf," this statement expresses that both sides are working towards a common goal. It almost challenges the idea that BP are the bad guys.

The video was very informative to say the least. From second :25 to the end, facts are scattered throughout the commercial. There is even a headliner that states "keeping you informed." This approach can be very persuasive to the audience for the simple reason that it is hard to argue with hard numbers.

Evidence goes right along with the Informative section of the video. One appeal to Ethos that the video conveys is that Iris Cross (the spokeswoman) is from New Orleans! This lets the viewer know that she is from a place that was effected by the oil spill. And if she can be on their side, what facts do I need to learn to do the same?
  
To tell the truth I was a little half hearted to analyze this video. I thought that I knew all of the facts and that there was nothing this videos could say to change my negative perspective about BP or the spill. I was almost certain that a one minute video wasn't going to change my mind. But after really magnifying each of the arguments made in the commercial, I can honestly say that I have a better understanding for the efforts being made by BP. Perhaps I have not forgotten the terrible accident, or who was responsible, but with a little effort I think I can forgive and move forward.